What's so GOOD about FRIDAY? (My Faith!)

Lord, when I write my heart out to You , I often find myself exhausted afterwards. I guess that's when I actually turn my areas of concern over to You. Release it all. For years and years,
I've practiced it, taught it, talked of it as if my life depended on it. And, in all reality , I think it
did...does. I cannot hardly remember when I started writing.....I think it was when we lived in Rebuck. That trashcan I had under the sink was my hiding place. I'd write You a letter.
Feel better. Then, rip it to shreds and stuff it into the caverns hiding in that can. I would have been embarrassed to death if my husband could have seen the stuff I wrote to You. I didn't want him to think I had any flaws. I knew You could take it....in fact You already had and I did
love having You to talk to. But, I was sure if my husband saw my heart's cries....he'd think for sure he'd made a mistake and married a mad -woman. My life was diapers, dishes and deflection. (Deflection: Anyone getting too close.) Those years of raising children were just about all my life consisted of. It really is a full-time job. I think of those years as training for me, as well. In the time I spent at college, I studied music thinking that piano, voice and organ would be my future. I knew You intended for me to be a pastor's wife....but those first years in the parsonage were not some of my best work. I had forgotten, Lord....I guess.... that everything I said, and did, would be scrutinized and placed in the file cabinet marked: "Don't ever let her forget she said that!" You know, Lord.....I didn't start this journey today to end up feeling sorry for myself. And, I refuse to allow satan to slip in the back door of my life to carry on any further conversation about this. So I will stop with the complaining or whatever this is.

It is Good Friday today. It is the day that You tore the veil. You made a way....when You said, "It is done." There is no telling of the suffering that people are experiencing today. In Libya...the lost and dying....the fear in so many hearts....the sirens that sound on a regular basis in areas of Israel.
Lord, so many that suffer are undeserving.....and You, because You made the choice to follow
Your Father's plan, have made us as free and clear of evil as You could do for us. I think of the
recent film that depicted Your suffering in such a violent manner. And, how it seemed to never end. The days prior to Your crucifixion. (I wonder, Lord.....did You wonder if it was ever going
to end, too?) And, how it showed the horrible beatings You endured. And, the abuse....Lord, I believe it was probably all that and more. And, for me.....I hate to think about it. I honestly do not like going to see the dramas that depict it. Why do I feel that way Lord? Is it because I am "used to" seeing it depicted. No. I don't think so. Because I am uncomfortable watching it? Yes, I am uncomfortable. It is sickening to see....but no....I don't think it's that either. Is it because I don't believe You went through all of that for me? Or, Joe Schmoe down the road? No. I don't think it's that, either.
I believe that part, because You said in Your word that it was for "us" that You suffered and died. By faith.....I believe that. So.....what? Why am I doing this mental juggling act? I do
think Lord that satan enjoys this kind of pull and tug game on my spiritual wellness. As I was
writing I thought of the song that was written in 1891 (which tells me I am not alone)...."My Faith Has Found a Resting Place". Some of the lines....."Enough for me that Jesus saves--This
ends my fear and doubt; A sinful soul I come to Him--He'll never cast me out.....My heart is
leaning on the Word--the written Word of God; Salvation by my Savior's name, Salvation thro'
His blood.....My faith has found a resting place--not in device nor creed; I trust the everliving
One; His wounds for me shall plead.....I need no other argument; I need no other plea. It is
enough that Jesus died, and that He died for me."
Sooo.....anyway.....there it is. Uncomfortable or not, You suffered for me. I would like it Lord if You will always allow me to feel "uncomfortable" if thats what it takes to never forget the horror and the glory of the cross. I want it to awaken me to NEVER become "used to" the suffering You went through.
I am forever grateful for the cross and Your love for me. Eventhough I DO NOT understand it.....I accept this gift. For those who do not....and will not.....let me shine some light if You will. Thank You Father for this day and for the gifts You have provided me and mine. Life in You. The greatest of all.
I ask Your favor for this day. Thank You for Your forgiveness. And , the power of what all of
that means. In the name of Jesus I pray. Amen.