WISHING, HOPING, BELIEVING and RECEIVING!

Secretly wishing and hoping someone would affirm me happens occasionally, Lord, and I appreciate it. You do this for me and I know it is a gift from You. I do not ever take it for granted.....because I do really see it as a gift. I recieved comments recently , but Lord, am I always going to need them? Are You always going to have to put people in my life that will affirm me? And, is that going to be something I will forever crave. I wish I could tug on Your arm as I speak to You....sometimes I wish I could touch the hem of Your garment to heal these areas of my psyche that seems so weak. To know that You affirm me is all I really want. Too often I ask and need too much, I think. Thank You for Your understanding and acceptance of my piddly offerings. Offerings that at first I think are pretty adequate....and then I realize later.....not so much. I suppose thats the human element I have to deal with. It sounds like a good statement. But, I don't think I really live there. I wish at this age, I could be assured that I am "there" instead of striving to get "there". Lord, I know, in all reality, that this is not to be. I will have to "fight the fight" 'til the bitter end. And, Lord.....You know that I feel so tired of striving and am never quite sure if "this is the way You want me to go." I guess Lord.....that I....for all my blustery words at You....realize that I do have to WEAR I John 4:4 around my neck.....sincerely and securely. I cannot let down my armor for a minute hardly even to readjust the headgear properly so I can see where I am going. Almost blindly, I am following Your lead. I cannot pursue another goal....foresee another project....until I have concluded that YOU....YOU ARE GOD.....YOU ARE ALL I'M LIVING FOR....YOU ARE KING.... OF EVERYTHING.....I WANT MY LIFE TO PRAISE YOU!!! And.....I can't do that....or say it.... or sing it....and mean it.....IF....I do not believe that You are IN ME.....and indeed, GREATER.... than he that is in the world. He (satan) seeks to ruin.....destroy.....and corrupt. Knowing he can't do that to me without You allowing him to is scary to me. I admit it. Being like Job is not on my bucket list. Can you help me to get there, Lord.....or is that where the faith we have to have in You comes in? The "with- out-faith-it-is-impossible-to-please-Him" part. You have my heart....and I am Yours forever. To please You is my goal. To see You and have You smile and say "Well, done...Corrine!" is all I want to hear. Give me the heart and the faith to keep walking and waiting.....being a faithful servant to all that need me. I ask this sincerely, Lord....in the name of Jesus. Amen. And, I don't mind telling You.....I am exhausted after all these words. Because they are not just words. They are my heart thoughts to You.....the cries of my heart to Yours. Lord, please hold them carefully and show me the way I should go. As I go through the days You allow me to live...I am wondering if You weary of my constant needs....or what I think are needs. Often Lord....some- one usually reminds me of my "asking for the same things".....and I think to myself....."Lord, shouldn't I have learned that lesson by now?" When I do this....(listen to outside comments, that is)....I begin to falter in my plan to lay everything at Your feet. I think that maybe You are sick and tired of my whining. Lord.....all I can say is.....I'm sorry. I need You. No one can lift me like You can. No one loves me and accepts me like You do. I will bring my worries to You. No one can answer my heart thoughts like You can. And.....Lord, I don't want anyone else to do that for me. It is my desire to honor You Lord. Right now, the best I can do is in Your hand....I will be Your servant. Extend to me Your favor, today. Amen and amen , again and again.