I wish I could think clearly when I have a lot on my mind, Lord.  I always......just about always....have to sit down, putting pen to paper or fingers to the keyboard and start talking to You.  You would think that I could stay out of trouble this way, wouldn't You, Father?  Letting You know the ideas that swim around in my head.....the troublesome areas I find I might have to deal with (because I am forever borrowing trouble)....the particular areas of my life that present me with problems.....all of it, Lord.....I can never think properly until I unload it at Your feet.  Sometimes I feel as if I am dragging a big black trash bag behind me all the time.  Isn't that a pleasant picture?  Lord, I'm sorry.  I try to be an example.  I keep  hoping that my relationship with You is quote-worthy and because of my "experiences" think somebody needs to learn from my growth process.....but, Lord.....the longer I live, the worse I get at this.  Why?
Is it because You need to do the teaching?  And I, the encouraging?  I need Your intervention here.  I feel that I need to re-navigate all of my thoughts about growing spiritually.  I do know that seldom do people learn anything by emulating someone's life.  Most of the time, people are thinking....." I don't want to be that kind of Christian." and so they find their own way, whether it is effective or not.  You know me Lord.  You know that I consult You about everything I do nearly.  Even small, inane things.  I am quick to let You know when I have run my mouth and shouldn't have......I have even asked You to erase some stuff for me......but, I know You have lessons for me to learn.....I don't know it all!  Help me to be quicker in consulting You.  Erase from my heart and mind the things that ruin relationships because of being a motor mouth.  Help me see that You alone are the very best teacher one could have. And, that because I think I know best........... I really don't.  Long ago I wrote a quote from Amy Carmichael and  placed it in my Bible.  I didn't want to forget it......I wanted to live it......and I am not sure I even knew how or know now.  Remember Father how she stated it?  "If I belittle those to whom I am called
to serve....speak of their weak points in contrast with what I perceive as my strong points.....if I adopt
a superior attitude--forgetting.....'Who made thee to differ?'  and 'What hast thou that thou hast not
received?'.......Then.......I know nothing of Calvary. "  Lord, when I first read this quote years ago......I determined that I would try to emulate this in my own life.  And, Lord......(?) I really don't think I have done this at all.  I do have to say one thing that I feel is true......I have not meant to make myself lord over anyone.  I intended that my example and experience in the Christian growth process demanded was something I should share.  I think I have to go back to the beginning.  I think I need a transplant.  The bottom line is to emulate You.  Your talk.  Your walk.  Your deeds.   And, as Amy Carmichael stated.....remember Calvary, and what happened there to free me from sin......and the clutches of satan.
It is my hope to remember always that You are Lord of all.....and are well qualified to run the show in my life and in the lives of those we minister to.  Help me to be aware that Your wisdom comes to me in the form of the written word of inspired writers, the holy scriptures......in Your own witness to me through devotional writers.....and how You show me in many ways how You love me.  It has never been a co-incidence to me how You work.   It is truly a gift, Lord.
I enjoyed reading "Joni and Friends" devotional today.  It makes me work harder.  It shows me where I am lacking.  Thank You for shining the light on my heart today.
You make all things well.  You do all things well.  And......You love me.   Thank You for that.  I ask all in the name of Jesus.  Amen.