"Something Beautiful"

You know, Lord.....I moan when I don't know what to do.....and I moan when I do.  Lord, sometimes I am so disgusted with who I am......and yet, I see that You, always come back to me and raise me up. Sometimes I feel it.  And then,  sometimes I see what You are suggesting.  I was so touched  when I saw that verse.  I knew immediately that You had allowed me to see the answer You were prompting me to read.    Right now, I can remember only a couple of lines.  Not knowing how to pray or what to pray, I, "in essence" give my heartfelt utterings to You......and, You, in turn give my requests....as You see/hear  them....to the Father.  You discern what is right and good for me.  I rest, knowing that You , Lord.....have heard the inner yearnings of my heart and will give me a sense of peace knowing You have the control.
And so......dear One.....take it.  Take it and let this life, such as it is..... consecrated and obedient....be acceptable in Your sight.  No one understands as You do.  I feel so embarrassed at times, just trying to explain this mood that encumbers me.  And, usually, try not to.  It always makes me feel so broken and useless; un-fixable. Damaged, beyond repair. 
After seeing the damage that ensues when I insist on doing things my  way,  I loved the "head's up" last evening as I looked up a scripture in Prayer Meeting and then saw it on the other page, underlined and blinking in neon lights. "IT" being my answer from You on how to pray.  Sometimes, I feel like Gideon when You sent him on a quest and he didn't know if You really "meant" it.....and then after getting his answer, he needed a little more assurance......and You, gracious God, answered that for him also.
I give You concerns.  I give You what I see as desirous.  I give You right now, any wounds that could
be incurred as I go forth.  Bind them Yourself, Father.  I feel safer that way.  " Something beautiful, something good.  All my confusion.....He understood".....the song writer keys in these special words about the magnificent work You do.  "All I had to offer Him.....was brokenness and pride.....but, He made something beautiful out of my life."  I know, Lord....that these words are not directly from the scriptures, but I feel they were inspired by You. 
Father, no one can hear the cries of a heart song.  No one, but You.  And, so.....in order to allow You freedom
and complete control......I ask You to have an audience with the Father and the Spirit of God.......and discern the direction and path I should follow.  Your will.  Your way.
In the name and will of Jesus, my Savior, I say.....amen.