I wish I did, Lord! I wish I knew what was coming. Okay....scratch that, Lord. I really don't. I am not able to see the end from the beginning as You do.....so, each day has all I can handle and I would like to perfect that part before I am allowed a little more leeway. I have no idea why I would ever think you would choose me to be Your right hand man....but I often think You and I see things alike. You are just a whole lot nicer than I would ever be. This is such foolish talk. There IS NO PERSON like You. Not one. You were created by Your Father.....to be the intermediary for us with Him. Our access to Him is all through You, Lord. And, I am grateful that You see the good in us. Our worth is totally up to You. So often I view myself as worthless and unfulfilled because of my own stubborn wishes and then hang on to the follies of the past. Could You.....Would You give me the transplant I need? I would like to see the generalities of life dissipate and the real depth of our existence....ie.....my existence......contingent on one thing. Your ideal of what my life always was to be. I pray and hope, Lord.....that I am "getting warmer" to what your plan is. I have (so often) gotten off the track at times....wanting to pursue "another" plan.....but, I know my ultimate happiness is to live as close to your plan as is humanly possible. I know You take into consideration all of my drawbacks, my imperfections, my hangups and my stubborn will......and I think You know that above all of that stuff......Your plan for me is what I want more than anything else. Therein, I will be fulfilled. And, ultimately happy. I remember hearing once that You never promised us happiness. I disagreed. The dictionary describes it as "the state of enjoyment" among other terms of satisfaction. To believe that You do not supply a heavy dose of contentment and joy for us as Your people is foolishness. You supply us with wisdom, strength, and hope to live our lives according to your will and plan for us. How often have I wondered if You had my "best interests" at heart? Yes.....Lord, I am sorry......there have been a few. As I continued to walk with You, though stubbornly, at times, I saw that You had it right all along. I know Your plan is the best for me to follow even though there are days I don't understand.
I guess that is my conclusion. All things, work together for my good and Your glory. If You're happy, Lord.....then I am too. Are You? My life remains in the hollow of Your hand. I don't know about tomorrow.....but, I know that You do. Your presence is all I need.
All I ask......and pray for is in the name of Jesus. I say amen. And, amen again.
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