Scary thoughts! And then, I wonder......why? When You are running the show....I should be content to sit back.....worry free.....and just hang on tight. Somehow, I don't think those two things connect......do they, Lord? The "sit back, worry free....and just hang on tight" part? No, you hang on tight because you don't know what's coming......'cause sometimes the ride is bumpy......closing your eyes against something you fear is heading your way. I do not think this is what You intend. I am so often filled with the sense that if I had prayed harder.....or longer.....or said just the right words.....things would have been easier to deal with. And, yet.....now I can see that You gave us the healing we yearned for......and the sense of peace we needed to see all of our "issues" come to fruition. The joy we feel when You have given us the end result You believed necessary for our spiritual growth is beyond compare to anything else I have ever experienced. I believe, Lord, when You supply that for me, I feel like I am doing what You called me to. A step at a time, A little here, and a little there. I remember when You brought me to the verse in Isaiah 28 that assures us You are not going to overload us. Those precepts of the scriptures that teach us the concerns we need to address (and I love that, Lord...most of the time, anyway!) will be addressed! You know what I need.....and You know when I need it. My problem before I learned this truth was knowing that I needed to change many things; and the difficulty in doing it all at once.....and becoming less than enthusiastic in knowing that is what you needed from me.....and me thinking.....and whining a little....."This is too hard, Lord"........."Am I the only one that needs to change my thinking?"......"Why is there so much?". What a whimp I was. A willing and anxious spirit to do all You expect of me. That verse, the 10th one...... encouraged me. I remember reading......"For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept, line upon line, line upon line; Here a little, there a little." I knew after that, You demand one thing. A willing heart. A willingness to learn all You want me to. I think it took me a while to get to that place. I have learned. Slowly. I know, there are times when You do have to draw me a picture. But, You are gracious. And, I am thankful You are. It is a blessing to have a friend that compares to no other.
I ask Lord, for You to encourage me to encourage those close to me to not try to "do it all themselves". That independent streak that runs in most human beings who "do not want to be told" and are "sure that they can figure out their own way" and want to " do it by themselves". I know the world thinks we are weaklings. Needy. Dependent. But, to have God on our side enabling us to change our world is not weak. You give us direction....and help us choose the right path......if we stay connected to You. I remember saying as a little girl that "I know the alphabet!" . Insisting I did, to my first teacher and, to my class. Standing aside my desk, and starting a,b,c,d,e,f,g quite loudly and then, blurring and mumbling the rest very fast. I knew the first six. The rest, not so much. I hadn't learned them. I did not know how to recall something I hadn't been taught. Yet, I still insisted I could say them by myself. Stubborn and determined. And, all wrong.
Jesus, help me to continue to call on You for direction and guidance even as I travel throughout the senior years. To continue to want to be led and taught by Your direction. To live effectively, to be a light for You, to be content in the circumstances I find myself......I give to You......hoping and praying I will be faithful to all You call me to do. Or say. Or be.
In the name of Jesus, I pray and ask for Your favor and blessing in my life and in the lives of those I love.
Amen.
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