"MY LETTERS TO GOD"

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Dear One.....I tried this morning. I thought it would be a good way to start the new year. I woke up at five.....all systems were "go" and nothing would work in our world of computers. Now, I feel like I need to get this done before midnight.
Lord, You are so very aware of the desires of my heart. You know my need(s). You are privy to every secret I have. I appreciate the fact that I can tell You what I need to share with You.....and You do not judge what I say......how I say it......and the intent that sort of colors it all. I guess too often, I feel, out loud. It doesn't always go over very well. In my mind and heart, I feel very free to express myself to You. I love ignoring what everyone is trying to avoid talking about.....and talk about it. I like to let the monster come out of the closet. When I can face "him" with You at my side....I feel I am the winner. When I can talk about what frightens me to death......I believe I can survive it. I think You know exactly what I mean, Lord.
I was skimming a magazine yesterday.....and saw in bold print....."Finding Joy in Ten Easy Steps". First, I perused their ideas of "how-to's" and immediately thought about the spiritual angle of this. The difference's of joy and happiness. To have happiness, and not be joyful......or to be joyful.....and not very happy. To analyze right now, I can't seem to think clearly. It's late and I want to get this done by midnight.....but, Lord (?) I find that I'm not always happy.....but , I do have the joy You give from having peace and security in You. I want so much Lord to have that "Joy" that comes from serving You and being an instrument for You......even though an uncertain future is scary and "being happy" isn't how I would describe myself all the time, I want to.
"Lord, I want to be pleasing to You, in everything I do.....and I want to love You more.....more than words can say. You gave Your life, You lived and died, for me......for me. Now the least that I can do.....is live my life for You." This song, Lord, is my song to You for this coming year. The children sang this is VBS this summer and I latched onto it for dear life. I love what it says.....and I mean to live for You always.
I pray this in the name of Jesus, Amen. Lord, it's January 1st still....11:59pm. And, Amen.

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Introduction to "My Letters To God"

My letters to God came about by my need to communicate with Him on a regular basis. I needed to, as a christian, a wife and a mother notwithstanding, pray every day. As a young mother I found myself almost continually interrupted by my two little girls. All for necessary and legitimate reasons. You and I both know satan uses every trick in the book to keep us from communing with God and I felt that he was definately getting the upperhand. So, one day out of sheer desperation, I grabbed a sheet of paper or a notebook (I don't remember) and began to scribble out a prayer for God to come and rescue me. I needed to tell Him EXACTLY how I felt. I needed Him and felt that this was my only recourse. Invariably, before I started writing, when I was interrupted I hardly ever would go back to my devotion time. I'd forget where I was in my prayertime and it all seemed futile.....after all, the wash had to be done, the beds had to be made, baths needed to be taken care of.....etcettera.....etcettera....etcettera. After the first attempt, I tried it again and again until this wonderful habit was formed for me. I could literally stop mid-sentence and almost always go back , and pick up where I had left off. As I found my time with God lengthening because of my determination to do this, it ended up being my solace. Even with two more daughters and a son as the years went by. I often found that it was truly a wonderful thing when I would search for a word that described what I REALLY felt. Many times in my prayertime prior to this , I would skim over the

hard parts that would express my angst to Him sort of mumbling, "Lord, you know what I mean.....". I was so terribly desperate to express how I really felt. To that, I could only tell Him in my tears and fears and frustration hoping He would still love me. I'd reread sometimes and find that I was alot meaner than I knew He would be pleased with.....or, I was not as bad as I believed I was.

Writing to God has followed me into the years that the world says are the "senior years". It doesn't matter to me. As long as I can hold a pen and write Him all of my heart thoughts, the "mind stealers" will not deter me. I am determined to be God's instrument. I will blow my horn for Him as long as He gives me breath!

As I share my letters with you, past and present, may you find in Him the solace that you need. He will give that to each of us. This is my prayer.

"MY LETTERS TO GOD"

My Life Verse

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

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