Lord....You and I have this connection.  I just know it.  You know me so well.  You know when I am overwrought with anxiety and cannot breathe right.  You know when I have had all I can take, and You step in.  You love me even though I make it difficult for You.  And, I in turn,  love You back.....but return  to my own devices again and again, until I cannot move another inch forward.  You must view me as mentally challenged in this valley of indecision I always find myself in.  I'm not sure why I continue to battle with myself and my ego.  What if I make the wrong decision?  What will people think?  As usual, I will lash myself with negative words and lay bleeding in the depths. I finally realize that I placed myself in this position once again.  Harsh.  So harsh.  And, why?  Why do I constantly do this?  You told me so many times You love me.  You have written words that I can rely on.....I  know it to be true, yet....so often I find myself begging You , once again, to rescue me from myself.  Thankfully, I have no one that I can rely on (with skin) and don't embarrass myself over and over again.  But, to You, dear One, I find that solace I can lean on.  You never make me feel foolish and unworthy.  I do that all by myself.  The more I read and listen to speakers and writers, I see something that I can barely believe.  Others deal with this same affliction.  I told You the last time I wrote that I am so thankful for the dose of medicine that You provide me with.  The power of Your name, Lord, is so overwhelming that satan flees.  Oh, yes....I know.  He'll come back.  But, he can't stand the name of Jesus and the power of the blood.  I need to use this as my antibiotic and savor the peace it brings me.  I know it works.  I have felt the gentleness of the infusion, Lord.  I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good.  The wealth of this power is mine and  I claim it.  I just do not access it often enough.  I wait.  This is the end of that drama, Lord.  I vow that I will call on the name of the Lord a little quicker than I usually do.  You , dear One, are the strong tower I can choose to hide in.....or not.  I choose to.  Get Your whip out, Lord.  The evil one cannot have me.  Protect my mind from the evil that ensues.  I have to get down on my knees, Lord.   I have to find that helmet of salvation that rolled under the bed last night when I took it off.  I laid that sword by the side of the bed.  It needs sharpening, I think.  I have worn out those edges.  Please protect my heart from the arrows satan flings at me.  I'm not sure....but I threw my nightgown over the breastplate when I got dressed this morning and forgot to put it on.  I know how satan works....if he can plant one evil or negative thought just one time.....it grows like bacteria in a petrie dish.  " Jesus, lover of my soul.....let me to Thy bosom fly".  Another phrase...."Leave, ah.....leave me not alone".   And, another....."Still support and comfort me.....all my trust on Thee is stayed;  All my help from Thee I bring....cover my defenseless head...within the shadows of Thy wing."  Lord, verses of hymns and scriptures were written to add to the power God provides me day in and day out.  Lord, why do I fail to access my trophies.  Lord, help me.  Lead me into all the truth that You have for me.  And, then......Father, help me rely on You to lift me to the place of peace that I yearn for.  I ask all in the name of Jesus....again.  Amen.