Dear One......Thank You so much for listening when I call.  I am always wondering what I should say....."how to say it"......and always,  if I should say it "out loud".  Lord, after prayer meeting the other evening, I have wondered about a few things we covered.  I know when it's my turn to lead the service, I always try to cover any territory I think we will discuss ....and then, often, a "Plan B", just in case my subject matter isn't being well received.  I'm not sure why I like to bring up ideas Christians do not want to talk about. Jealousy, an unforgiving spirit, lying, spitefulness, hateful attitudes, etc., just to name a few.
I suppose it's because, even though I have my own hesitations for one reason or another, I love for people to think....and read.....and find out what Your thoughts are...... to discuss their issues with You and not glide over the uncomfortable places with pious thoughts and scriptures to prove them. I suppose too, I like for people to regard their hearts very carefully.  I remember at one time, I felt that I was "above" being bothered by the wiles of satan.   Lord, I am so very aware that You made me to think very human thoughts , regrettably.   Even though I have been careful to whom I am confessing a fault.....(if I do at all).....I am not afraid that You will  smack me down  to shut me up (not that You would do that)....but I do remember some times of dead silence between You and me.    I have spoken to You some fearful heart thoughts that swirl, unbridled at times in my mind.  I have received a measure of peace just sharing them with You.....and, then, with Your compassionate heart.....You speak words of hope and peace to my fractured spirit.  I am often embarrassed, Lord. What I am so very amazed at......is that You forgive me and show me in Your Word where I am to change.   I'm getting on the "old" side and still, when You speak to me about my unkind attitude,  my anxious spirit, the elusive forgiving nature that I always want to have.......well, Lord, I feel like a young christian again......forging my way into the world.  I wish that "once it is taken care of", I wouldn't have to deal with it again.  I hate that satan has this power  on the earth.   Lord, he is such a menace.  He is such a liar.  Sidling up to us with his slick moves......I just  pray for Your continual hand of mercy, and precious blood shed on Calvary to keep us from allowing any of his messages to trick us.  (Me, specifically!)   I have to realize that You have given us Your power to over ride the evil he places in our path.  The side roads that beckon.  Thank You for Your protection when I have faltered.....tripped over my own feet moving too quickly before assessing the move.....and  even argued by my "silent rebellion".  Jesus, You have given us the Word to lighten our way.  I saw a picture the other day with open Bibles depicted as step stones for the walkway.  Way too often I have fussed because the darkness was keeping me from seeing where You wanted me to go.  I saw a different way of seeing the direction You want me to go.  
"Greater is He that is in me......than he that is in the world."  First John 4:4 speaks it loud and clear.  It is my hope.  It is my solace.  It is Your love guiding me to my future with You.  I will not fear.  I have the power in the name of Jesus to defeat this angry man who will undoubtedly dog us to the gate.  And, all I can say is "Help, Lord!  Defeat the power of satan.  I plead the blood of Jesus.....which changes everything!"
In Your name I ask for Your will and any blessing you choose to favor me with.  I say,
Amen!