You know, Lord......I find it hard to write "out loud" when there seems to be no pressing issues in my path.  I have put this off, knowing that "thing" in my being keeps poking me.....like something is not quite right.  And, so I write to You.  Not knowing what I should say.....or how I should say it.  My heart is full.....even to the point of running over.  I am blessed.  It is not a statement I say lightly.  I am.  And,  I know, that You know,  I haven't always made that claim.  Not easily, anyway. 

 I am thinking about difficulties of life that others are enduring right now.  Watching others wade through the options of "how to handle this" effectively, and be able to live a somewhat normal life is heartrending.  I watch and listen and hope to possibly render a possible solution, but, I find that each one has to find their own way, in their own time.  I ask that You, Lord.....would give each one wisdom and a special touch of Your love to soothe their own spirits.  The hard places in our lives are often what draw us closer to You.  And, sometimes that is only after we have vented to You how disappointed we are in You and that You ever saw fit to send this particular trial our way.  Yes, I know.  How dare I even put that in print?  I put it in black and white because I am human.....and You are God ......and I have a feeling that YOU know how I feel anyway.  I cannot hide from You.....nor, do I want to.  Do people really think that if they don't say it out loud, You don't know?  When I began to put my heart thoughts down on paper, I began to see how  my communication with You, benefited me.
I loved telling You how I felt.  As I wrote in my introduction to "letters".....I could go back through my notebooks and see that I was not as bad as satan had convinced me I was.......or.......I was a "whole lot " meaner than I knew You could ever be pleased with.  It is then, Lord......that real healing begins for me.....  when I am honest with You.  That "deep down" honesty.  Please help me, Lord.  I want that to  ALWAYS be  my life.  When I cover up and ACT LIKE I can handle it all.....I know one thing.  You'll let me.  And, yes.....I will handle it as I see it should be done.......but , there will be no peace for me.  When You are at the helm......showing me the direction, I may get sidetracked but I won't get lost.  I know that You know me well.  I do get sidetracked.  I often think I have a better solution.  I nudge You.....or tap You on the shoulder and SUGGEST, ever so gently, that maybe we could "check this way out first".  And, we do.  Often, my choices, are dead ends.  I admit it; You smile  and we move on.  Sometimes,  Lord, You tend to make Your way, a maze, You know......  And...... I tire easily......but You nudge and shove a little.....and finally, I have succeeded in doing things Your way.  The choices are difficult at times, Lord.  But, You and I both know, when I follow You and pay attention to Your "red flags", I am more contented. 

Jesus, help me to remember that.  To be content.  To be quiet before You.  To listen.
Thank You for loving me....and giving me Your peace.  I pray in the name of Jesus.  Amen.