Lord, I feel so bothered. When I feel so overwrought, I try to separate each thing and analyze it
until I become more bothered. Then, I know it's time to sit it all at your feet. Could you help me? Would You? I am always annoyed with myself Lord, when the stuff of life wears me down.
Isn't it just life? We just went to honor two of our friends. We pray for and hold the wives of those who have died and mourn with them....and await a phone call about a third. It comes. Lord, I don't like that. Why do events seemingly happen in three's? It appears to be an old wives tale....or however that is phrased. I actually was trying to look it up in scripture to see if
there was a Biblical reference to it. I don't think it should be like that. And, therein....is the
beginning of my angst, Lord. As I entertain those thoughts, I find myself annoyed too with what appears to be SO important to some and little bother to others. It seems that the mantel you hold for all of us is so all encompassing that I do not understand why You put up with us at all.
Each of us has the capability of understanding a certain amount....okay, Lord.....I am talking about me. I have the capability of understanding a certain amount....don't I? But, then....what happens when there is more that you need me to know? I'm not sure I can handle anymore. I
want you to know that I will do all in my power to learn and grow as much as You want me to.
You see, I'm not interested in being so heavenly minded that I am no earthly good. I want to be
understood as I understand. I want to be real. I want the fact that You were born to a virgin
Mother....grew to be a profound and authentic minister of the gospel. One who was ridiculed, persecuted
and crucified.....rose again to prove You were indeed, the Son of God to be the foundation of my
story. I want the stories of the inspired scriptures to be the nurturing of each of the building
blocks of my life. And, then Lord......I want the fruits of the spirit to be evident in my life....over-
whelming me and anyone who looks at me can see. The subject will not be up for debate. There
will be no question.....No matter how differently people view a subject for discussion.....None.
Is that possible, Lord? The scripture says...."but the fruits of the Spirit....love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.....against such there is no
law....." from Gal. 5:22. Lord, as I look at each of those attributes I think to myself...."Can I do
this?" I know that we are not usually pushed to the point of no-return most days. It is the one
time we find our spirit wanting to drift alittle outside the arc of safety that is so dangerous. Just
one time I'd like to let loose......and then, sanity knocks on the door of my mind....and You save
me just in the knick of time. Lord, stand guard at that door . Do not deter. If You have to go for a minute, send someone to guard me carefully. My prayer is to make You proud. My prayer is to not let You down, especially when You are depending on me. Give me Your power, Father.
I cannot do it alone. And, for this.....and all that I lay at Your feet....I ask it all in the name of
Jesus. Amen. P.S. Lord, I just thought of the best scenario for my "Why do things happen in
three's?" The best result for me is: Father. Son. Holy Spirit. End of story! Amen. I feel better.
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