"On Christ.....The Solid Rock: I Will Stand!"

Father....today is one of those days.  I have a list of people here in front of me that I should connect with. I have jobs to fulfill.  I have running to do that may put me in a place where I'll have to inter-act with someone.  And....that is always a place I am not crazy about going to.  Okay, I know.  We talk about this occasionally.  But, it seems to me the conversation is a bit one-sided.  Lord, I wish you would literally shove me out the door.  Sometimes I think that is the only way I will be forced to contend with society and be an instrument for You.  I spend so much time housebound that when it is time to go into the world I am a scared rabbit.  You must show me how to be the best I can be.  I realize I have a ministry to do for You.  I'm not sure if I am doing less than You expect of me or not.  My nerves take a beating.  My heart pounds for the obscurity of expectations.  Only You can give me peace.  I do know that my hope is built on  nothing less, than Jesus' blood and righteousness.  I dare not trust the sweetest frame but wholly lean on Jesus' name.  Because.....On Christ, the solid Rock I stand.....all other ground is sinking sand. Yes, indeed....all other ground, is sinking sand.  And, of course, that sinking sand is where satan wants me to be.  Struggling to walk....tired of it all....too weak to take another step.  That is when he comes to me, assuring me that "he knows how I feel.....and following Christ sure does take its toll on a body and its okay to sit down (in that sinking sand) and wait 'til you have caught your breath awhile."  Lord, defeat that disgusting plague in my life that makes me almost believe him.  He is a liar.  He is out to defeat anything I feel I have  ever won victory over.  He almost certainly presents me with this defeatist attitude that threatens to wear me down and I fall for it. Almost every time.   I , who should absolutely know better.  I, who, preach to my ladies in Sunday School.....on a regular basis...."Watch out for the tricks of satan.....he's out to get us.  Us.  Seeking out the weakest among us to devour us."  Yeah, I know....Lord.  I have learned that when I speak about him out-loud....he takes offence to my referencing him in such a negative way.  And, I know, that is when he tries another tactic to throw me off my game.....and I tend to fall for it.  My armour.  Where is it?  There.... at the foot of my bed, where I laid it when I went to bed last night.  If I get up and forget it, the day starts and I have headed out to do the day (whether it is a few loads of wash, changing the bed, cleaning the toilets, or washing my hair) without the holy presence of God protecting me.  That helmet is probably the most important thing  for me to remember.  I need that extra special bit of protection.  My mind works overtime way too often....and what I come up with is so outrageous that I know it's satans work. Lord .....sometimes I do feel that You do have Your work cut out for You with my spiritual well-being.....but, I know I am not alone.  Many feel this way.  Many struggle as I do.  I have heard their stories too.  Right now, though....I need to feel Your pulling me up again to face the work ahead for today.  I will determine to get that armour on and head out to make sure that what I can do for You today, is done....and I can make a difference today in being the instrument for You that You need me to be.  For this day....I ask all in Your name.  The name of Jesus.  Amen.