It was funny yesterday, Lord......I just kept waiting for a tree to fall or water to start pouring in somewhere......I kept trying..... but, I couldn't really rest.  None of those things happened.  All my little things I have sitting on my front porch didn't even move....even with the wind swirling around.  The gusts of wind that would come apparently weren't even in the direction of that little cove where the porch is positioned.  And, now.....today, I have the words of the song "Resting Through The Storm" going through my head.  With all of the pictures of the weather maps, areas around us getting hit pretty hard with "Sandy".....not once did I think about the song I'm mentally singing today.  The disciples were not particularly pleased when they were sure they were going to perish in the storm that came up on the Galilee and no one could find Jesus.  They were frantic.  They needed him in bodily form to come and assess what was happening and stop it (from happening) immediately!  (Lord Jesus......in my life, how often have I wondered where You were when I needed You the most.  Granted, Lord.....that hasn't happened very often.....BUT, when it does......I  am almost in a state of panic, too.)  Anyway, Lord......I find that I am NO BETTER than these anxious men when they believed their life was being threatened.  I've often thought, Lord, that I was.  (Better than them.)  I don't even know if  others ever feel that way.  I'm afraid I wouldn't like the answer.  ( I also like to think I wouldn't have been in the group of the whiny, never satisfied , constantly-asking- for-more -Israelites following Moses to the Promised Land.  How about we not even "go there", Lord?)  The song lyrics move to the chorus which says......"They found Jesus, resting through the storm.....trusting in His Father's words......knowing He was safe from harm......".

Lord, my life......my heart.....my mind.....my words, all need this lesson to be driven home to  the door of my heart.  Toggle-bolted to the door would be  a sign......"This is Corrine's home.  She's resting through the storm!" 

I need Your love to guide me.  I need Your arms to hold me.  I need Your wisdom to empower me.  I never want this to change.  I never want to be self-sufficient in Your eyes.
I have driven myself to distraction wanting "my ducks all in a row" so no one could say, spiritually speaking, that I hadn't fulfilled all of their expectations of me.  Lord, one thing I have come to learn after 45 years of ministry with my husband, is that NO ONE can fulfil all the expectations one may need attended to for another.  I have tried.  

I need Your intervention today.  Lord, as soon as I write my heart thoughts.....I am often deluged with exactly what I have praised You for.  I know the presence of evil in this world is nothing to dabble with;  argue with; try to understand, we should know by now   there is no understanding of any of it.  (In my case, Lord, that's the hook he uses to get me on his side!)   Help me Lord, to always be aware of his tactics.   Jesus, You are the world to me.  My hope.  My fortress.  I lay at Your feet the concerns of my heart and the needs of others.  

Bless us today with Your favor.  Thank You for the safety You provided during the storm.
Stay close, Lord.  I'm not sure, Lord.....but, another may be on the way. 

I pray in the name of Jesus.  Savior of the world.  Amen.

It amazes me, Father.....that You are my friend.  The actual conversations we have are pretty one-sided.  I tell You what I need; what bothers me; what I really want;  my innermost angst, confessions of my soul.....just to name a few.....and You have this way of nodding.....listening.....probing.....and  suggesting.  It is almost indescribable.  In actual fact, it is indescribable.  At Praise Team practice, I pulled out this song and I'd forgotten how it went, it had been so long since I played it.  "Indescribable, uncontainable!  You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name!"  It is a "keeper" song.  We have to do it soon.  "You are amazing, God!" is a line at the end.  And, it's true.  I call on You at any time of the day.....sometimes in a not-very-good-frame of mind......and, there You are, just waiting for me to finally tell You what is on my heart.  My heart thoughts.  Not everyone has the patience or the time to listen......I tend to go off on tangents.....lengthening my prayer to You.  I, of course, think it's important to give You the "back-story" or explain in words I am sure will help You understand me better (!) knowing full well, You know me best!  I just can see You roll Your eyes a bit....maybe even smile.....and, then....maybe not. 

I remember some thirty-some years ago standing in the kitchen, talking on the phone to a parishioner.
She'd called to ask my advice.  Remember her, Lord?  I listened as she described her feelings about wanting to wear her wedding ring after 50 plus years of marriage.  She couldn't wear it when she married because of the "church rules".   She talked....and I mostly listened as she laid out the whole story.  My heart went out to her.  Even now, as I remember the conversation, I still feel the same.  I
suggested she pray and seek God's voice to her and go with her instinct to wear that sacred piece of memorabilia.  She was atleast the age I am now, Lord.  Men have made rules for years.....following what they feel is Your edict to us.  And, men preached all of that from the pulpit.  Confusing the mere desire of wearing an outward expression of our love and devotion to someone......to falling into the pit of Hell for being an instrument of rebellion. I remember thinking....."Why is she asking me?
What do I know?  Why after all these years of being a Christian, is she struggling with this?  And, now.....of course, I know.  He, (satan) never stops.  He will always integrate himself into our lives.  Confusing and deceiving us.  (Help me, Jesus!)   Lord Jesus, I hope and pray that the fact that an unforgiving heart......an un-bended spiritual knee......a critical tongue......all play a part in the real message of a confessed sin and committed heart.  I truly believe the crux of our faith falls there.

Jesus, I just want to thank You for helping me see what is truly important.  Atleast in the areas of
my life that need correcting and changing.  I will obey Your plea to me that I pay attention to the places that displease You.  I will forfeit my desire to bully my opinion of what I think Your Word says.  What it says to me........is not necessarily what it says to another.  Help me not to forget that.
Help me to remember  what the picture says to me.  (You know.....the one You draw for me to show me what I am to do!) . 

I praise You, Lord.  Give me the favor I deserve today.  I honestly feel that breathing and living is enough......but, I will accept all You give.  In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray and ask You will in all I do and in all I say.  Amen.

It must be so frustrating to You, Father.  I ask for You to present me areas of service that I can do for You......and You do.....and , then I cower.  Would You help me?  As I read the devotional from Oswald Chambers today, I thought.....Are You talking to me, Lord?
Are You saying....."For Pete's sake, Corrine......what do I have to do for you?  You ask, I answer.  And, then you stutter and stammer your way around the issue at hand, wondering why you are here.  I AM WHO I AM......and I will help you." 

The line of one of our praise songs hits my "inside airwaves"......."In all I do.....I honor You."  ( Thank You, dear One.)  "I'm alive and well....Your spirit lies within me.....because You died and rose again.  Amazing love....how can it be.....that You, my King, would die for me?  Amazing love....I know it's true;  It's my joy....to honor You."

You know, Lord.....I was sure You were not talking to me.  I was.  And, as I started to read just a little while ago.....I couldn't even make sense of it.....thinking, this is " too hard for me today!  I'll read this another day."  I guess You, more than anyone, knows  I am SO sure sometimes.....and find out later, with great embarrassment.....that I am totally wrong.  Isn't  that amazing, Lord?   Wednesday evening, as I spoke to the Prayer Meeting crowd, I was quite adamant that we....ie; all of us who love and serve You , have a duty to be your hands and feet....and perhaps, even, a mouthpiece, to be used by You.  The verses You pointed out to me today just sort of hit me in the face.  "Who am I that I should go....? from Exodus 3:11 is so reminiscent of my thoughts the last few days.  So.....Lord......I am Your servant......I believe You have chosen me......and that You haven't rejected me at all.....and I will let You lift me up with Your righteous right hand......and give me peace. 

I asked my friend, yesterday, Lord...... " Do we ever really learn anything from our trials and tribulations?"  I have figured that the reason we go through these places, is for You to give us a bird's eye view of what You see after we are through the trial.  I like to think You don't have to send me into that same scenario for me to finally "get it"!  Lord, I submit to You that I have always thought that "You don't have to tell me twice".......and then I find that regrettably, You do.

Give me the courage and strength I need, Lord.  I cannot rely on strength from any other avenue.  Overwhelm me with Your peace......  the portion that passes all understanding is what I would like to have.  I don't need to understand any of it. 

I will bless You, O Lord.....by being obedient.  I will bless You by being faithful.
Grant me Your favor.  I ask all in the name of Jesus.  Amen.  

What was it that I wrote a while back, Lord?   I am going to condense my travel paraphernalia down so I don't have so many bags to carry?  Yeah....that's what I said!  I should have said, "......so I don't forget something everywhere I go!"  It was a favorite outfit and my cosmetic bag that I found missing when I arrived home yesterday from a week of living out of a suitcase.  I get so annoyed.  It's my own fault and I know that too!  I don't even pretend to blame it on anyone.  Aren't I mature, Lord?  Great.  I'm mature...... but still would forget my head if it wasn't attached!
The moment we arrived home, I felt a big sigh of relief that we were in our own driveway, safe and sound.  Thank You, Father....for allowing us to be able to visit our loved ones and try to encourage them by just being there.  It is sometimes all you can do when folks are going through hard places and are not sure which way to turn.  Just being a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on or a hand to hold is often all You expect us to do.  Praying, not withstanding, is expected and definitely not the least we can do for one another.  I guess I always grew up feeling that those things weren't quite enough.
I have flailed with the "what to do?" mantra forever.  I always think I have to have a "ready answer" for any question that comes up and so often Lord, it isn't what You expect at all.  Just having the ability to keep quiet and listen is important too.  I like that You have placed different folks in our lives, at different times, to perform what needs to be done.  Not everyone has to do every  single thing.  I appreciate that  especially when I fail to listen, You allow someone else the blessing of hearing  (what You originally meant for me to do) Your call.....they pick up the ball that I have dropped and get the blessing.  The laxness is never my intent, Lord.....and even though I do fail You on occasion....You keep giving me places to serve.  Thank You Lord for allowing me the privilege to follow Your calling.
For the sad, forgotten, lonely, bereft and alone individuals I am responsible for.....I pray I will be Your messenger.  Never failing them.  I ask for Your divine word to be implanted in my heart for
their encouragement.  Over and over, Lord, I have been discouraged by my submission of souls for
Your kingdom.  I do submit to You that my job is to plant a seed of hope.  The spiritual laws and
specific scriptures I worry over not getting quite right, are Your department, Lord.  I will be Your
instrument.....to do Your will, living Your word, and keeping Your commandments to the best of
my ability. 
Where I go.....what I do.....who I speak to....(or don't speak to)......the words I use.....the attitude with
which I express myself.....all hinge on how close I stay to Your side.  I expect Your nudge when I
need it.  I aim to be the lighthouse that shows which area is safe to go.  Shine away, Lord.  I don't
want the lens of that light to ever become cloudy and diffused.  Help me see anything that would
deflect the light of Your word to me or anyone I speak to. 
I pray in the name and will of Jesus Christ, our Lord.  Amen.

Lord, I've read so many devotionals this week and I wonder to myself......what is this supposed to teach me?  Isn't that what they are for?  To reprove us....to improve us.....to make us think?  I know you use whatever is available to get your thoughts and laws through my head.  I remember buying one of our children that picture Bible......and I'm wondering if I should go buy another one in an updated version.  I'm always saying, "I need a picture drawn for me."  It is sometimes a little disheartening when I read Your words.....and I don't understand what You are trying to tell me.  People often feel that because I am the pastor's wife....and in a leadership position that I should have some answers that are in line with Your thinking.  Often....way too often, I am wondering if I gave the wrong advice....or suggested  a too-human response in what I feel You want me or any of us to know. 
Lord, first of all.....let me assure You, I know without a doubt that You are God.
Your patience will forever amaze me.  I consider You at the helm of my ship, a
loving, concerned, faithful Captain.  And, I have the utmost respect for Your ability to do for me as no one else could.  But, secondly....I view You as my true friend.  One that will give me honor, if I deserve it......favor.....if You choose to, and discipline when I have failed to learn what You need me to know.  What I find difficult, Lord.....is sharing what You have taught me without intimating to another that...."If I can do this, you can too."  I wonder, Lord.....do I step over the line of duty when I infer this? The enemy is bound to jump on that. I need Your intervention in any words I use.  
 Is this what Amy Carmichael meant when she wrote...."If I belittle those to whom I am called to serve...talk of their weak points in contrast to what I view as my strong points.....and essentially wonder why someone "is not quite as spiritual as they could be"......then, I KNOW NOTHING OF CALVARY" ?   Jesus, Savior of the world.....help me to always be at Your feet.....  never to even suggest I have "conquered this spiritual journey" I'm on.  Save me from the wiles of satan that would ever suggest that.  That's all he needs.  I do know that when I speak to You or speak about You to someone , oftentimes I am looked at with a questioning eye.  And, of course, I know why!
I speak to You as if You are sitting in front of me, drinking a glass of water or a cup of coffee.  I speak to You as if I were in the back seat while You are driving me on my road of life , leaning forward to touch Your shoulder with my hand to make a point or to make sure I heard You correctly. 
Lord, my job is to pay attention.  My job is too follow the guidelines You set up for all of us that follow You in the scriptures.  My job is not to judge what another is doing and how they are doing it.  My hope is to be Your light in the lives of those that need me to be a light for them.  Never to overstep.  I believe You will be my encourager and my guide as I do what You lead me to.  I'd like so much to draw folks to You by my behavior.....and to never discourage.

Lord, I am quoting a special poem that I found years ago by Marjorie Holmes.  I
love what it says.....I wish I had written it.

                          "Lord, somewhere I read that when two
                           people love deeply....living together.....
                           sharing....caring....giving.....forgiving.....
                           that they begin to resemble each other.
                           Tell me, Lord.....how long will it be before
                           I look like You."

This is my prayer too.  Lord, I ask all I do, request of You, and dream of....to be done in the name of Jesus.  Amen.

Dear One......Thank You so much for listening when I call.  I am always wondering what I should say....."how to say it"......and always,  if I should say it "out loud".  Lord, after prayer meeting the other evening, I have wondered about a few things we covered.  I know when it's my turn to lead the service, I always try to cover any territory I think we will discuss ....and then, often, a "Plan B", just in case my subject matter isn't being well received.  I'm not sure why I like to bring up ideas Christians do not want to talk about. Jealousy, an unforgiving spirit, lying, spitefulness, hateful attitudes, etc., just to name a few.
I suppose it's because, even though I have my own hesitations for one reason or another, I love for people to think....and read.....and find out what Your thoughts are...... to discuss their issues with You and not glide over the uncomfortable places with pious thoughts and scriptures to prove them. I suppose too, I like for people to regard their hearts very carefully.  I remember at one time, I felt that I was "above" being bothered by the wiles of satan.   Lord, I am so very aware that You made me to think very human thoughts , regrettably.   Even though I have been careful to whom I am confessing a fault.....(if I do at all).....I am not afraid that You will  smack me down  to shut me up (not that You would do that)....but I do remember some times of dead silence between You and me.    I have spoken to You some fearful heart thoughts that swirl, unbridled at times in my mind.  I have received a measure of peace just sharing them with You.....and, then, with Your compassionate heart.....You speak words of hope and peace to my fractured spirit.  I am often embarrassed, Lord. What I am so very amazed at......is that You forgive me and show me in Your Word where I am to change.   I'm getting on the "old" side and still, when You speak to me about my unkind attitude,  my anxious spirit, the elusive forgiving nature that I always want to have.......well, Lord, I feel like a young christian again......forging my way into the world.  I wish that "once it is taken care of", I wouldn't have to deal with it again.  I hate that satan has this power  on the earth.   Lord, he is such a menace.  He is such a liar.  Sidling up to us with his slick moves......I just  pray for Your continual hand of mercy, and precious blood shed on Calvary to keep us from allowing any of his messages to trick us.  (Me, specifically!)   I have to realize that You have given us Your power to over ride the evil he places in our path.  The side roads that beckon.  Thank You for Your protection when I have faltered.....tripped over my own feet moving too quickly before assessing the move.....and  even argued by my "silent rebellion".  Jesus, You have given us the Word to lighten our way.  I saw a picture the other day with open Bibles depicted as step stones for the walkway.  Way too often I have fussed because the darkness was keeping me from seeing where You wanted me to go.  I saw a different way of seeing the direction You want me to go.  
"Greater is He that is in me......than he that is in the world."  First John 4:4 speaks it loud and clear.  It is my hope.  It is my solace.  It is Your love guiding me to my future with You.  I will not fear.  I have the power in the name of Jesus to defeat this angry man who will undoubtedly dog us to the gate.  And, all I can say is "Help, Lord!  Defeat the power of satan.  I plead the blood of Jesus.....which changes everything!"
In Your name I ask for Your will and any blessing you choose to favor me with.  I say,
Amen!

All around me is chaos.  The news of the day.  The fighting abroad.  The deaths of soldiers trying to ensure our freedoms.  The lives of some of my family.  And, some  that are about to experience sadness they have never had to endure.  Lord,  what can I do?  I've heard the classic christian response a thousand times.  "I will pray for you."  And, I recall thinking......"Really"?

 Lord, that is so cold.  I'm sorry.  It has often been an over-used, perfunctory answer for the dutiful christian.   I've said it....especially when I needed a quick get-away retort.  Lord, forgive me for ever being so unaffected by the concerns of our friends, family and acquaintances.  To mean it......now, that is a different scenario....and where I always want my allegiance to be.
I am so in need of Your mercy, Father.  I want to be Your servant.  Your emissary.  And, when I tell someone "I will pray"........I will.  I need to always be aware of how vital a mission this is.  It's not a
"way out" of a situation I find uncomfortable. 

I remember so vividly how incapable I was in the first few weeks and months of my mother's life ending stroke.  I remember how inferior I felt in having to answer question after question about life saving procedures she should have;  her prognosis;  and care that would endure until her life ended.  I knew that the fact that the people who wrote and called and visited.....and all said the same words... did say them with all sincerity;  I knew they were my life's blood at that time.  Now  years later, as I think about the events of that five year time period.......I know, and am totally convinced that I survived one of the most catastrophic events of my life.....only because someone said....."I am praying for you" and did pray for me.  Without fail.  Probably morning and evening.  And, in between time, too.   Lord, without a doubt, You placed those people there for me to depend on.  I had enough strength in the beginning to say only a few things to You.  I remember a few times that all I could utter to You, was "help!".  (I didn't capitalize it because I was using my quiet, inside voice, Lord.)  I had no strength.  I had no words.
I still can't believe You thought I was strong enough to handle all of that chaos.  I am glad, though, as I look back, that You were there for me.  Each and every minute I inwardly groaned about "how I was stuck in a situation I couldn't get out of".  I knew......without a doubt, that You were soothing my anxious, hurting heart. Those thoughts that come when its quiet....the  " No one knows...... ", " No one could understand......", "  No one cares....."   thoughts.    Those were the lies satan would throw at me.  Those hateful darts that he can throw.....with wild abandon.....and there I  sat thinking,  "Why doesn't somebody help me?"  And......Lord......that is when......someone prayed for me and I could breathe again.  You saved me from satan.  You gave me strength when I had none.  You allowed a little breath of peace to reign in my spirit.  Even if it was just for a few minutes,  it was all I needed.   And, what is so wondrous about that, is...... that you already knew that. 
You are ever interceding for me and for those I love.  You tend to us right where we are.  So, whether we are in past tense.....or present tense......I depend on the truth of Your word and Your promises to us all.

Thank You, dear One.  I love You so much.  I cannot count the ways.  I cannot count that high.
You are precious to me.  Help me to help someone today.....for Your glory.  I pray in the name and will of Jesus.  Amen.